More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
