This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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