Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  You shut your mouth

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  (313): I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy (1-313): You shut your mouth http://tfl.nu/xp5b
  Replies (34) Good night (1651) Bad night (870)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet

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  (918): eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet http://tfl.nu/8959
  Replies (7) Good night (666) Bad night (4108)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.

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  (870): It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis. http://tfl.nu/5xg0
  Replies (5) Good night (2060) Bad night (1351)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major

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  (480): Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major http://tfl.nu/g5od
  Replies (5) Good night (1920) Bad night (1065)
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  (619): View more from California

  Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently

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  (619): Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently http://tfl.nu/19aa
  Replies (6) Good night (1810) Bad night (765)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?

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  (717): Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking? http://tfl.nu/e79x
  Replies (3) Good night (1681) Bad night (768)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.

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  (612): Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start. http://tfl.nu/wabc
  Replies (3) Good night (539) Bad night (1472)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid

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  (732): So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid http://tfl.nu/ju72
  Replies (5) Good night (636) Bad night (1429)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.

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  (574): I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed. http://tfl.nu/w2ei
  Replies (7) Good night (1762) Bad night (496)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!

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  (719): I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!! http://tfl.nu/z9re
  Replies (4) Good night (807) Bad night (428)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.

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  (509): He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him. http://tfl.nu/5ca1
  Replies (3) Good night (704) Bad night (424)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.

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  (304): omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected. http://tfl.nu/xm5d
  Replies (4) Good night (536) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days

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  (651): You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days http://tfl.nu/dsf3
  Replies (4) Good night (750) Bad night (541)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.

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  (505): A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk. http://tfl.nu/nmzj
  Replies (1) Good night (839) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.

  (801): View more from Utah

  The girl neighbor.

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  (801): The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis. (801): The girl neighbor. http://tfl.nu/zc5m
  Replies (1) Good night (665) Bad night (398)

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