Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.

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(623): View more from Arizona

Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?

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(647): View more from Ontario

So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.

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(406): View more from Montana

Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(763): View more from Minnesota

Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.

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(310): View more from California

I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...

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(432): View more from Texas

She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick

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(336): View more from North Carolina

DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?

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(330): View more from Ohio

I just forgot I was standing up.

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