And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?