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• (214): View more from Texas

  I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  Mike i'm at church right now...

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be

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• (325): View more from Texas

  When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (301): View more from Maryland

  You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain

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• (914): View more from New York

  Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY

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• (305): View more from Florida

  Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?

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• (661): View more from California

  im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom

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• (818): View more from California

  Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (903): View more from Texas

  And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention

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• (979): View more from Texas

  The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.

  (1-740): View more from Ohio

  Why haven't you proposed already?

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina

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