Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.