I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
