Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
