just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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