I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She told me I should be a condom model.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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