If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize