Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Watching her eat just hurts me
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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