i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
