i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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