All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
