I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
