I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
