Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
