I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
