Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
