yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
