i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
