I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
