I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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