I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
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she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
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Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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