grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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