Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
only you would photoshop your dick
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
