I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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