Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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