He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
