i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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