I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm at about main and main street
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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