So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
