Buhtt sex?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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