Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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