He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
