I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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