You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
