She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
