It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
