The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
