My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
