he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
