I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
