Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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