he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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