I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
