God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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