I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
