please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize