So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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