We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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