I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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