My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
