He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
