well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I am full of burrito and curiosity
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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