Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
