Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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