I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
tell me about the eggs
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
