When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
