So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
