I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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