I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
