we have pet lesbian snakes
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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