found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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