My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize