just tell him i said nine months
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
