What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I think I died a long time ago.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
