So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
