Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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