I hate all girls vehemently.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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